This is a conversation that i just had and really enjoyed. I have withheld the name of the person with whom i had the conversation for his protection. It has also been edited for content.
Friend: have you started class yet?
ME (J): no. school over here is organized super weird...
aka not at all.
i never know what im supposed to be doing/where i should be
F: you go to hogwarts
except i don't learn anything so useful as magic
F: yeah right
its 100% magic
you will be a wizard when you're done
J: i hope so.
i'll magic me up some f*#*@*n money
F: if i was a wizard i would never be without money, or without naked babes
that would be the first/only spell i learned
and maybe an asskickin' spell
so i could #**$& people up
F: and my friends would never be without money or naked babes either
J: unless they made me sad or mad
and then it wouldn't be out of meanness, just because it would make me too lazy
to cast the necessary spell
F: i would wear a cape
J: oh, i would dress like Dr. Strange
F: and cast a spell that made capes awesome
J: i would want everyone to look at me suspiciously
like "what is he up to?
F: also i would cast a "fountain of youth" spell on myself
wizards are so badass
J: and a "fountain of skinny" so i could eat whatever i chose
J:i would levitate when i slept.
F:dah! i have to go to school!!!!!!!