Sunday, November 4, 2007

AIDs and Vampires.

it seems apparent to me that AIDs did not originate from sex with monkeys, but with vampires. it seems far more logical to me, and i don't understand why the concept is overlooked.
when you look into the history of vampires they are often affiliated with plagues and epidemics resulting in the death of large numbers of people.
further, Bram Stoker* leads us to believe that only after having been bitten thrice (causing the intermingling of human blood with that of a vampire) will a human turn into a vampire. is it therefore hard to believe that AIDs could be the human body's attempt to fight off the presence of vampirism?
im sure you are now thinking "but if AIDs were vampirism, wouldn't AIDs victims live forever?" Good. But as noted before Bram Stoker leads us to believe that it takes three bites from a vampire to complete the transformation of human to vampire. only after that complete transformation would one become the undead. unfortunately, we don't have enough information to know what the incomplete transformation entails. but i feel it safe to assume that the human body would struggle against the agents in the blood bringing about the transformation. It seems obvious to me that the agents bringing about the transformation are stronger than the human immune system. vampires are, after all, immortal. The human nervous system has no chance of defeating vampirism, even in its incomplete stages.
all of my logical college educated friends out there are surely thinking "vampires don't exist!" to which i respond "prove it!" there are plenty of historical documents from a wide variety of cultures, dating to ancient times about the existence of vampires. Many Jews believe that Lilith (Adam's first wife) left him to become the queen of demons, feeding on the blood and flesh of babies. is that not vampirism? babylonians believed. assyrians. jews. everyone. is the existence of vampires really so far fetched?
further, even were i to grant that TODAY there are no vampires, their existence in times past is enough to warrant suspicion of their role in the HIV virus and AIDs.

i will grant that this theory is entirely speculative. i do not have the education nor the will to prove this theory. but i think that it deserves some attention and serious thought. so, you don't want to believe it? fine. go back to thinking that sex with monkeys brought AIDs into existence. That makes WAY MORE sense.

i just wish freddy mercury had become the undead rather than dieing. i'd gladly sacrifice a pint or two every once in a while to keep him around.

1 comment:

Bret said...

Tight Theory. Also, I linked you and gave you a sweet name.